I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
by Akuma-No-Seija
Summary: There are thoughts, flashbacks, that obsess our minds. There are people, beings, that make us remember. There is a silence that all but lets us forget. T for language/slash. Enjoy!


_A/N: This is my very first Gravitation fanfic. Yay! ^^ I apologize if my writing sucks; the plot isn't at all thought out too thoroughly, but I hope you enjoy anyways._

_This is a story that revolves around not only Shu-kun's and Eiri's relationship, but... This... is a story that centers itself around the value of family. What a cliche beginning though! LOLZ! ^^'_

_Please read and review!_

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_"The memory's wiles are cruel. In its silence, we forget. In its perversion it binds our hearts firmly." _**-Vexen, Kingdom Hearts: CoM manga 2.**

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_"It's a zero. You still got zero talent."_

The horrible, amateur lyrics bombarded Eiri Yuki's mind, his sight, his upturned face.

He carelessly let the page on which they were written be consumed and greedily tugged at by the force of gravitation; let it float down, and it landed almost obediently, like a white messenger pigeon, on his writing desk with its wings fluttering. In the dim wavering light, it was like a white feather, the tiny kanji symbols delicately painted thereon.

And then Yuki's hand closed like a mouth, and he crushed the page with an unimpressed scoff, the pads of his long fingers slowly bringing his reading glasses down to the bridge of his nose.

He knew all too well that the next two words that would escape his mouth would be madness, suicide- and yet, with that in mind, he dared to venture out and say them for the millionth time.

"Damn brat."

The pair of softly glowing amethyst orbs that had previously and impatiently awaited his response seemed now the flash open in utter astonishment. And the fathomlessly expressive eyes had two friends who shared the same name, "ears", and those ears had heard these words oh so many times before, that they should have been more than already accustomed to them.

They were all _but_ that.

Shuichi's hand shot out at a rapid speed to rip the sheet of paper from Eiri's loose grasp and uncrumple it with a wild anxiety.

"But Yuki...! I worked super extra hard on these!" the singer whined in protest, angrily flinging the paper around in his grip.

Yuki only sat staring as Shuichi continued to try and reason with him.

"But you've at least got to admit that I did a _hell_ of a lot of a better job than last time, right? ...Right? And, I mean, it took, like, some major_ balls _to even show you, right? And you were my inspiration! Can't you at least appreciate _that? _And don't you know that a "zero" plus a "negative"- _Yuki!- _doesn't get anyone anywhere?"

Eiri took a long drag of his MarlMuru cigarette and leaned back in his seat, his arms placed behind his head of silky champagne hair in a nonchalant manner.

A silent moment of tension hung in the air between the two lovers, the only sound being that of their soft breathing.

The novelist could see himself in Shuichi's gaze, suspended in two shining drops of bright water, himself dark and tiny, in fine detail, the lines about his mouth, everything there, as if the singer's eyes were two miraculous bits of violet amber that might capture him and hold him intact.

Shuichi's face, turned to Eiri Yuki now, was fragile milk crystal with a soft and constant light in it. It was not the hysterical light of electricity, but- what? But the strangely comforting and rare light of the candle.

_What?_ A _candle..._

One time, as children, in a power failure, Eiri, a toddler Tatshua, and Mika had found and lit a last candle, and there had been a brief hour of rediscovery, of such illumination that space lost its vast dimensions and drew comfortably around them, and they- brothers and sister- alone, transformed, hoping that the power might not come on again too soon...

And then, with a hint of fresh apricots and strawberries lingering in his ever-gentle breath, Shuichi Shindou said:

"Yuki...? You bastard, I'm asking you a question. Do you creative authors never stop day-dreaming?"

"And it's your lack of said quality that causes you to fall victim to such crappy writing, dumb-ass." Yuki's fingers swept away a strand of wispy golden hair floating in his line of vision, pushing aside the flashback that warmed his insides and had almost began to make his stone-cold heart melt away.

But that aside, he never again wanted to feel the gentle arms of warmth, of family, wrap themselves around his slim frame and hum their treachorous lullaby that still echoed about in his frozen mind. It was enough to have let himself grow so close to Shuichi. What with a new deadline to meet in two weeks, as a promise to his editor, Mizuki, he already had enough to worry about.

Family was just a thing that became evanescent over the years. He had his own life with Shuichi, Mika was expecting Tohma's child within the month, and Tatshua... Tatshua was still keen and insistent on stalking Ryuichi Sakuma-san. All in all, the trio no longer needed, nor seemed to enjoy, each others' presence.

But... did that make _Shuichi _his family now? The simple thought of a candle?

The novelist stared up at Shuichi with his pale wheat-coloured gaze, the tiny slits of pupils narrowed.

"If you don't find yourself in La-la Pixie Land all day long- if not on the outside, then on the inside- you'll never think of anything, any words, any verses, lyrics, songs, that will ever be worthwhile. I would think it would be more than easy for someone like you to carry out such a simple task."

Shuichi, meanwhile, was preoccupied in his vain attempts to flatten out the tiny, crumpled folds that, like small waves, swelled up and crashed down on the sheet of paper in which his precious lyrics were composed upon, swiping it quickly against the sharp edges of Eiri's writing desk. It took a while for his lover's words to sink into his quick-sand-like mind, and when it finally and hesitantly swallowed them in a whole, Shuichi's head popped up and he shot daggers at Yuki, their glares meeting with a mirrored intensity.

"Hey! What's _that_ supposed to mean? _"Someone like me"?"_

No sooner had these words been spat out like cobra's venom then did a sudden ripping sound reach Shuichi's ears, and he looked down in his hands, expressionless, as he guessed- and he guessed correctly- that the paper had been shredded into two rag-doll-limp and uneven parts.

"Argh...! Goddammit! What the hell?"

Yuki removed his glasses, suppressing the smug smirk that threatened to permanently carve itself onto his face, set them down beside his laptop, and leaned in on his elbows. He then stretched his elegant neck out far enough to the point where his nose was nearly pressed against Shuichi's digusted, contorted one.

"I'll let you top tonight if you can figure it out for yourself, you moron."

He traced the palms of his hands, the points, the pads of his fingers, about Shuichi's flustered, porcelain cheeks until they fell under his fragile chin, and in a low whisper, drew their two pairs of moist, pink lips into a passionate kiss.

In the midst of all the tiny sparks, the surging static exploding and then imploding like fireworks about in his stomach, Shuichi pulled away.

"What's the matter? You don't usually refuse me."

"...Ya know, to have you accept my writing is all I'm asking for. Why is it so meaningless to you?"

"You're still hung up on that, eh?"

Yuki stood up from his chair and made his way over to Shuichi, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and murmuring little kisses and nibbles all about the vocalist's neck and shoulders, pulling the torn sheet of paper from his hands and letting them drift to the ground. Shuichi remained still as a statue, his lips stiffened into a straight line, his eyes burning embers spat from the mouth of a volcano, that had made their way into a puddle of a violet sunset's water.

"Forget about it. It ain't like you have some ridiculous deadline to meet or any tours to go on too soon. Let it go. Come on..."

"...Stop it! Don't you get it?"

Shuichi fought his way out of Eiri Yuki's grasp in a new-found annoyance, the veins in his slender neck swelling and popping out, and he clenched his fists into tight little balls. Swiftly, he bent down and grasped the two bits of fallen paper up from the hardwood floor and backed himself against the door-frame, his eyes never once leaving Yuki's.

"How can you reject something that means so much to me, time after time again? You want me to put _you_ before my music on my priority charts, but how can I do that when you won't even _lie _to respect my attempts?"

And for a moment, the air surrounding the pair was engulfed in static-y silence and desperately confused gazes, Shuichi's rib-cage rising and falling heavily due to the rush of adrenaline coursing through his body.

_"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,  
And they're like,  
It's better than yours,  
Damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you,  
But I have to charge," _

His phone's ring-tone echoed off the hallow walls, and his hand shot down into his pocket to take it out and silence it. He glanced down at its outer screen to check who had called, and decided that that person was important enough to flip the cell open and begin dialing their number back. Besides, it was an excuse to get away from the agony called "Eiri Yuki".

"I gotta take this." he uttered under his breath, just loud enough so that Yuki could hear him.

Then he spun around on one foot and begin to stalk out of the room without another glance back, the cell-phone pressed up against his right ear and propped up by his shoulder as he began to scribble down a note on his arm with a purple glitter pen. Everything but his voice melted into the shadows of the dim hallway.

"If you need me... I'm going for a walk."

**...**

His sneakers skidded along the pathway, kicking up crisp autumn leaves painted all shades of reds and oranges and yellows. His breath came out in pants as he rounded the corner, strolling along and still waiting for the "Unlisted Caller" to pick on on the opposite line. The air was cold, with a taste of winter in the air, although it was merely mid-October. Everything in Japan was gone- the trees, the grass, even the cute little sparrows he saw during his early morning walks to NG Studios. Everything except his curiosity as to who was calling him.

The ringing on the other line stopped, and an all too fimiliar voice chimed,

_"Oh, hey, Shindou-kun! Guess who?"_

The sneakers stopped. A cold breeze captured the twisted locks of pink-dyed hair and began spitting them in his face. He didn't bother to push them away, though, because a huge, mischievous smile was creeping across his lips.

"Damn, I'm gonna be in some deep dookie now..."

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_A/N: Okay, so I got Shu's and Yuki's personalities reversed... but I did that purposely! Shu-kun's all pissy and Eiri's lovey-dovey. It's just one of those days for them. That aside, I hope you guys liked it! I feel it was rushed... but d'aw well. ^^'_

_If you have any ideas for future chapters, I'd be extremely, utterly, knocked-off-my-feet grateful to hear them so that I don't fall victim to writer's block again. See that little "Review" button down there? Please click on it! If I've made any mistakes, please tell me so. I know there are numerous run-ons; please excuse those. If ever you've read any Ray Bradbury or H.G. Wells books, you'd know very well that run-ons find themselves in the stories as often as conjunctions do. I am guilty of letting their writing styles negatively plant thier little seeds of never-ending-sentences in my mind. But they're proffesionals; I am merely an amateur. Once again, I apologize. ^^' Also, excuse my never-ending metaphors. I honestly have no idea where they came from; I don't usually use them._

_Gravitation belongs to THE fully awesome Maki Murakami._

_The song "Milkshake" belongs to Kelis. Thank God for humorous songs in tense moments. :D _


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